The worst possible time
I'd gladly give up that $250 again
Have you ever fallen for someone at the worst possible time?
I did once. I’d just spent the last of the money in my bank account to secure my spot for a study abroad in Belgium. I was taking French in college (and I’d studied it growing up in Canada) but I wanted to be fluent, and that was my plan to get there.
And then I met Scott.
I went home for Christmas and had a moment where I knew we were supposed to be together. I also knew that if I went to Belgium, we weren’t going to get the time we needed to build a relationship.
Scott and I had only been on one date, but I canceled my trip and forfeited the money. More importantly, I didn’t say a word to anyone because I knew they’d think I was CRAZY.
Maybe I was. But we were married five months later and we’re about to celebrate our 22nd wedding anniversary.
So. I’d gladly give up that $250 again.
This topic fascinates me. When should you take a risk and when should you wait to see if it works out? Do you need to be ready for that kind of change?
This article has an interesting take. I recommend you read the whole thing, but here are a few of my takeaways:
Psychologists have found that our sense of being ready for a relationship often doesn’t match how relationships actually unfold.
Research on “relationship readiness” suggests that even when you feel unready, that doesn’t necessarily mean you won’t fall in love, it just means the timing isn’t as linear and predictable as we imagine.
What I love about this research is that it reminds us that there’s nothing uniquely “wrong” with us if we find ourselves pulled toward someone at a time that feels impossibly messy. That tension might actually be unavoidable. Just part of being human.
Maybe there isn’t ever a right time?
Many of my characters meet at the wrong time. When they’re interested in someone else, when they’ve sworn off all relationships, or, as we find in Buoys & Girls, when you’re on vacation and will likely never see that person again.
I love this trope because it forces the character to ask what they’re willing to risk for the slim chance that this could be something great. And great love stories are about great risk.
Have you read Buoys & Girls? Or listened? Would you take the leap like Mason did?
Tell me in the comments:
Have you ever fallen for someone at the “worst possible” time?
How did you navigate it? Did you lean in, step back, or meet in the middle?
What do you think we get wrong (or right) when we talk about good and bad timing in relationships?
I read every comment, and I’d genuinely love to hear your stories, questions, or even disagreements.
And if you do pick up Buoys & Girls, come back and tell me which parts were your favorite!!
xo Cindy
